Like most parents, I try to be an example for my two little girls but, more and more, I’m realising that actually, they’re the ones who are teaching me how to live.
They dance with abandon the second they hear a tune they like; they spontaneously break into song in the middle of a crowded coffee shop or in the queue for the checkout at the supermarket; they’re so hungry to learn new things and have new experiences; and they lack any embarrassment whatsoever relating to their own bodily functions!
My 5-year-old daughter has, for a while now, been giving everyone who visits our house something to bring home with them. Our good friend and neighbour went home with 15 cent from her piggy-bank in his pocket this morning after dropping in for a game of Ludo with her and her sister. Yesterday another friend visited with his 16-month-old daughter. She went home with a teddy.
Most people say, “Ah, you’re very good, but don’t be giving your stuff away”. But it makes her so happy to give. She’s disappointed when they refuse the thing she has offered. It’s so easy to see that making other people happy makes her feel happy too.
Why is it that we tend to discourage this behaviour? And why is it that, by the time we’re adults, we feel like we need to hold on tightly to what we have; that if someone else has something that makes them happy (material or otherwise) we tend to feel envy rather than joy in their happiness?
We are conditioned to believe that the more we have, and the more we achieve, the happier we will be but, in reality, becoming unattached to the material world (vairagya) and being in the service of others are the things which can bring us lasting happiness and satisfaction.
We must try and follow the example of our children and revel in the happiness of others. Only then can we truly be an example back to them.
Yoga Sutra 1:33
Maitrī karunā muditopeksānām sukha dukha punyāpunya visayānam bhāvanātaś citta prasādanam
Stillness of mind is maintained by cultivating an attitude of joy in the happiness of others, compassion for the suffering of others, delighting in the good deeds of others, and disregarding to the bad deeds of others.