Do you really think this?
Suzanne and I have heard the following sentence many times. We've been teaching ashtanga yoga for a combined period of over twenty years, and it actually crops up a lot.
As an aside, I always laugh when two people, who both have a modest amount of experience in their field, add their experience together so that it seems like way more, so I decided to do it there. We've been playing music for a combined period of over 70 years (!) and have been parents for a combined period of 30 years (two kids, aged 9 and 6, added together (15) and doubled because there are two of us - we really are very experienced parents!).
Ok, I'm probably the only person who finds that amusing so let's get back to the point here: I've been teaching most days for ten years; Suzanne's been at it a few years longer. We hear this sentence, or a variation of it, from a student every few months.
I don't know where this idea came from, but it feels like a function of our modern psyche, where we're encouraged to buy more, try more, hustle more, own more, and just generally be more; where there's no time for resting on our laurels; where, if we're not improving ourselves every day we're basically going backwards.
This is what we hear:
"I need my ass kicked"
"I need a teacher who's going to push me"
"I need someone to hold me accountable"
Does that sound familiar? Have you said it? Or thought it? Do you believe it to be true?
It's an interesting idea for sure, and it's true that sometimes we need a bit of external motivation to help us along the way, but fundamentally it's something I've never agreed with.
Let me be as clear as I can here:
You Do Not Need Your Ass Kicked By Your Yoga Teacher!
Your life will kick your ass up and down plenty without you needing extra ass-kickings from somebody else.
We've all had our asses kicked in a huge way since the beginning of 2020, and we all know that, even if we hadn't had a global pandemic, there are enough ups and downs in our life as it is.
Nobody takes up yoga because they want to add extra struggles to their lives.
You practise because you love it. You love how it makes you feel. You love how it relieves some of the pressure of daily life, or it helps you to be pain-free, or it helps you be a better parent, friend, or colleague. You love having a routine. You love the people that you've met through yoga. You love how it makes you feel empowered, that you have strength you never thought you had. You might even love how it makes you look.
What you need in a teacher is somebody who facilitates your own personal practice. Initially, you need someone to teach you the details of how it all works; the inhales and exhales, where your hands go, where your feet go etc. After that, you need someone who can change small things that allow the whole thing to flow with greater ease and maybe some added focus. Then you need someone who is an example of how to maintain a long-term practice. Ultimately though, when you've internalised it all, you just need someone to open the door of the shala, turn the heating on and allow you to practise in a nurturing environment. At the end of the day, it's the practice itself done consistently over a long time, that is the real teacher.
Stop pushing yourself too far. Stop feeling like you're not doing enough. Practise as often as you can (you don't have to practise every posture that you've learned every single day). Enjoy your practice because, in the end, it's the enjoyment of practice, not the sense of achievement, that will keep you practising for your whole life.